Monday, July 18, 2011
What's Your Best Rando Encounter?
I'm sorry to report that my personal store of rando encounters has been depleted. Since I don't want to bore you with any bottom of the barrel stories, I leave this post open to anyone who wishes to share a rando encounter of their own! I know that I'm not the only one with stories to tell :) Just type it up and leave it in the comment box below. Sidebars are appreciated, but not required.
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WHAT!?!?!?! how can this be. my afternoon will not be the same without your stories :( i will have nothing to laugh out loud about and have people look at me strangely bc everyone knows that auditing sure isn't funny...
ReplyDelete-jeni
One of my favorite rando stories occurred during my study abroad in the north of France. There is something about an American girl in almost any foreign country that brings the randos out of the woodwork en masse.
ReplyDeleteThis particular time, I was walking home after a night spent celebrating St. Patrick's day in one of the two Irish themed pubs my small town possessed.
Sidebar: I truly believe that there is not one country left in the world that doesn't have at least one Irish themed bar. (Not that I'm complaining.)
I had just waved goodbye to a group of friends and was making a beeline to my dorm on that cold, silent night, when I heard a rustle in the bush to my left. Suddenly, a tall heavily-intoxicated random French guy wearing a kilt leaped out from behind the shrubbery.
Sidebar: This incident has since brought back childhood nightmares of the troll in the "Billy Goats Gruff" fable. My fairytale infused upbringing has instilled an irrational fear of evil creatures popping out all over the place, just to block my path and make unreasonable demands. This remains the reason that I cross any footbridges with extra care, even to this day.
I sped as quickly as I could towards the door to my dorm building, leaving the elegantly slurred, broken-English proposal of "You want sex? Please? Yes? Sex! You will like!" along with the stumbling rando behind me. I was saved from him following me further, by his cell phone, whose ringing stopped him in his tracks, as it took 6 tries to push the correct button to answer it, and stalking a terrified girl and operating a cell phone are two tasks that are much too difficult to do at the same time. (Thank goodness)
So in conclusion; a drunk French man, dressed in a kilt, jumping out of a bush in the middle of the night, might just be my most random meeting with the opposite sex of all time.
-T
Around finals of last semester I unearthed myself from our apartment to head to the post office only to encounter an entertaining weekday afternoon rando.
ReplyDeleteSidebar: This post office trip was to make some money on a half.com sale. This dough would be absolutely necessary for participating in end of the year shenanigans.
Our apartment was in downtown Omaha and, conveniently (or not) on the bus route.
Sidebar: This led to multiple break ins (THREE!!) and tows of my poor Oldsmobile Alero. The post office was also on the bus route and about two and a half blocks away. As it was one of Omaha's legit spring days (not snowing), I decided to take myself out dressed in my beautiful Nike spandex yoga pants (which were a little tight due to too much stress baking), a nasty coffee stained tee... and my afro (the hair that has a mind of its own).
So, basically, picture a birds nest similar to a cross between 80s Madonna and Julia Roberts big hair days. That was me. Going to the post office.
...and leaving the post office...
I made it past two of three bus route stops when I crossed the street to see some man in a Chevy Malibu waving at me. Being delirious from studying too much, I waved back and kept walking.
Somewhere between the wave and my turn, I realized I needed some more eggs (for cookie batch number 5,000,000) and took a quick detour to the downtown market (which, for being on the bus route, is quite trendy and clean).
As I began to open the market's door I see a man open his car door and pop his head out of a car...
Rando: "Ma'am" ....
Rando: "Ma'am" ....
(oh wait, you're talking to me?!) annoyed and awkward head turn...
Rando: "Could I just have a few minutes of your time?"
Since I was it was the middle of the afternoon and right outside the clear doors of the market, I agreed, thinking the man was lost.
Me: "What's up?"
Rando: "Well, if you speak like that maybe I don't want to talk to you anymore."
Me: ........
Rando: "I just saw you walkin' down the street and when you waved back your smile was just so beautiful."
(now recognizing the white chevy malibu)
Me: ........
Rando: "Listen, I'm new around here, but, could I maybe take you to dinner sometime? If you're from here you may know a nice place."
Me: "Um, thanks, but I'm married..."
Sidebar: married always sounds better than engaged in creepy encounters such as this one.
Rando: "Nah, girl no way! No WAY! That's just my luck."
(turning to go in the door)
Rando: "WAIT WAIT"
(turning my hair and flipping my hair as in an 80's dramatic pop movie)
Rando: "Not that I don't BELIEVE that a beautiful girl like you's married, but... I need some proof... where's the ring?"
(flashing Rando my hand)
Rando: (as I'm walking in the market doors) He one lucky man at night...gettin' to slap dat booty.
....wow... and he didn't want to talk to me for saying "What's up?"
(guess I should cut down on eating cookie dough)
Summer 2008: this story pre-dates the Luke/Mark story by only a week or so.
ReplyDeleteMediterranean cruise fling: $2000
Week-long RMOS', Souvenirs, Transfers: $1000
Never seeing the girl again: Priceless.