tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401371611655508062.post8359713790192775143..comments2016-10-05T12:09:46.580-05:00Comments on How to Lose a Girl in One Date: Guest Blog: Why Optimism Isn't Always RewardingEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05457419144920256460noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401371611655508062.post-71390063434762219462011-07-07T00:12:24.640-05:002011-07-07T00:12:24.640-05:00One of E's Many Sister,
Thanks...but i'm ...One of E's Many Sister,<br /><br />Thanks...but i'm no psych major. I'm actually an engineer by trade, back at school working on my masters in EE. But I am an avid people watcher and have done a bit of dating, reading, and traveling. So, i've picked up what I can, from as many different sources as I could. My ramblings are the world according to Mark and are really just meant to be food for thought or starting points for discussion. (How does that saying go, advice is just experience pulled out of the trash can, polished a bit and passed on as something of value.)<br /><br />As to my age, I'm only 27(which to those under 20 may seem like almost thirty, which is close enough to 40, and might as well be 50, and that's just old.) But I like to think i'm closer to 25, which is really one's early 20s and therefore still young enough to be in college.<br /><br />We all have our strengths and weakness. I'm pretty good at keeping a girlfriend, but I have a lot of issues (i.e. i really suck) at the cold approach and getting that first date from a perfect stranger. So I write about what I know, and leave the bar pick up techniques to the professional cufflink toting, two color shirt wearing, loaded professionals. ; p<br /><br />~MarkAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401371611655508062.post-57236537500634813642011-07-06T10:16:54.656-05:002011-07-06T10:16:54.656-05:00"...but is living out the back of his car and..."...but is living out the back of his car and in a frat-tastic apartment..."<br /><br />dude, no self-respecting frat-daddy would ever live in a place like that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401371611655508062.post-32283552850585374212011-07-06T08:38:56.732-05:002011-07-06T08:38:56.732-05:00Mark-I like you! You are so insightful! And I must...Mark-I like you! You are so insightful! And I must agree with the talking and not invading personal space. I still get teased, but on my first date with my now husband, I shook his hand at the end (we were work collegues). It was awkward, but now gives us plenty of laughs and didn't put too much pressure on making it work right away. <br />As an aside-Mark are you a psych major?? You have too much insight for a young man your (assumed) age :)<br />-E's sisterAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-401371611655508062.post-56870647649755509152011-07-05T23:56:33.978-05:002011-07-05T23:56:33.978-05:00Folks,
Yeah another person who doesn’t get it…
O...Folks,<br /><br />Yeah another person who doesn’t get it…<br /><br />Our would be E here made several comments about the ridiculousness of the car, and the apartment situation. I would argue that her comments were directed at a symptom of a much larger problem: Maturity. Here is a reasonably social, funny guy, with a job, but is living out the back of his car and in a frat-tastic apartment. I understand life can be tricky and sometimes you do what you have to do to get by…Then play to your strengths and keep her out of your would be apartment and agree to meet a spot that will not require her to see your vehicle. Let her get to know you, explain your unusual circumstances and go from there. Most importantly, show her you have a plan that you’re sticking to get out from behind the 8-ball. After all you should already be self-sufficient, i.e. mature, when you enter a relationship. Only then can the relationship be greater then the sum of its parts.<br /><br />On the other hand, if you’re a guy looking for that quick score, from the chick at the bar who is too drunk to notice the 420 smell in the living room and thinks the empty beer cans create a nice decorating effect, then great, go for it. But if you’re on a catholic website, designed to get people hitched, then perhaps you should show that you’re beyond your toga party years and are worthy of being hitched too. <br /><br />Now there is a lot to be said on the subject of first date protocol. But the short of the long of it can be generally summed up in: Don’t touch her. It’s that simple. If she’s into you, she’ll find a way or reason to touch you. (She’ll sit just that much closer, she’ll laugh, turn and touch your arm or she’ll find away into your into your personal space.) If she’s not, grouping her is soooo not going to help. <br /><br />I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it here: First dates are interviews. Does the person you are going out with for the first time meet your minimum qualifications (regardless of how high and unreasonable they may be/seem to each other?) This means a first date needs good conversation (i.e. ask open ended questions that she can talk about while you smile and nod.) It does not mean, cop a feel, steal a kiss or anything else along those lines that you watched Corey and Shawn try to do to Topanga and company. As so much in life is, it's all about timing. Give the girl a few hours (at least 1.5 to two dates worth) of one on one time before you make a physical move to allow her to figure out how far she’s going to take things with you. You’ll never loose your chance for a long-term relationship with a girl because you didn’t kiss her on the first date. <br /><br />Girls are all about the emotional intimacy. Work on creating that first, and then the physical intimacy will follow in spades. <br /><br />~MarkAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com